This blog will be a little different from my previous posts (few and far between though they are) in that I'm more just talking/venting as opposed to relating a truth I've noticed or realized.
I'm not even exactly sure how to explain this, but I'm concerned about the kids. There's nothing wrong with them, but it seems as though they each want more in their lives, which is a good thing. Both of them have recently been asking to get back into sports. My Boy has always wanted to return to taekwondo, but has also recently mentioned wanting to play football or try gymnastics. My Girl has been asking to get back into gymnastics for a couple years, and just last night said that she has been missing playing soccer.
So what should I do?
I'm concerned because all the kids really have is school and church...which is not a bad thing, mind you! The question is do we have time for them to do more, and if we don't should we make the time for them to explore these interests?
I want them to enjoy their childhood as I did, doing and trying things that interest them or make them happy & healthy. But where is the line? When does it become too much? We already have commitments on Monday nights, Wednesday nights, Friday nights, and Sunday nights.
Really, the kids don't have something they can call their own...something they can say "this is what I do," although they each seem to be wanting that in their lives right now. How do I make that happen for them? If we add something for each of them, even if it is gymnastics (ie. the common interest) for both, we only have 3 nights available for it. And if we take up 2 of those with sports, when do we spend time just as a family? When do we sit down at the house and have a meal together? When do we have some simple "down time"?
I don't know the answers to these questions yet, but if you're reading this, please pray for us to hear some wisdom from God and make the right decisions for our kids and for our family.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Fasting the Little Things
So, as a member of the praise team at church I am fasting for the month of February. I really struggled with what to fast...and I chose to fast sodas (in my world also known as Coke). I have been a Coca-Cola addict for a very long time. I drink so much soda that the stimulant effects of it have no effect on me...I can drink a can of Coke right before bed and be able to drift right off to sleep, no problem.
I said above that I struggled with what to choose. Fasting from Coca-Cola (or any soda) just didn't seem like enough. Sure it would be hard, but this is for God, it needs to be something big!!!
A few days into it I had been able to resist the temptation to run to the vending machine, or grab a can from my "emergency stash." Then the headaches kicked in hard (I forgot to take the Advil that morning to ward it off). As I left the office to run an errand I actually grabbed a can of Coke and brought it downstairs with me. I got in my car and started driving. I had a glass of ice with me to pour it in, but I couldn't open the can...not that I physically couldn't, but something was stopping me from even picking it up. I began to pray, "God, my head is killing me, and I know it's because I stopped drinking sodas. Please take this headache away, I know it's just the Devil attacking me trying to get me to give in on my promise to you. Right now I claim your comfort and relief from this pain. God, give me the strength to withstand this attack and to keep my promise to you."
And then I had to pull over on the side of the road.
That was it!!! I get it!!! It really didn't matter what I chose to fast. Whether it was something big or small. The point was that I made a promise to God to do something for Him, and to spend time with Him. I chose to give up something that I love......for my God. God just wants me to come to Him to get the strength to do (or not do) whatever it is that I chose (big or small). He just wants me to come to Him for His strength to resist when Satan decides to attack. He just wants me to spend time with Him.
And let's face it, Satan will not attack you if you are not on the right path. If you are on the wrong path why should he bother... It's when you find your way, and find the path that leads to a closer and deeper relationship with God that Satan stands up and takes notice, and decides it's time to do something about it.
Well I say, "get thee behind me, Satan," and I say, "In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to leave me alone", and I say "My God is able to carry me through this time of suffering." And I'll come out the other side stronger, and more in touch with my God and His will for me...because I chose to give up sodas for a month.
You see, fasting sodas may have seemed like a little thing to me at first, but now I know, my small sacrifice is big in my God's eyes because I'm doing it for the right reasons and I'm doing it for Him!
I said above that I struggled with what to choose. Fasting from Coca-Cola (or any soda) just didn't seem like enough. Sure it would be hard, but this is for God, it needs to be something big!!!
A few days into it I had been able to resist the temptation to run to the vending machine, or grab a can from my "emergency stash." Then the headaches kicked in hard (I forgot to take the Advil that morning to ward it off). As I left the office to run an errand I actually grabbed a can of Coke and brought it downstairs with me. I got in my car and started driving. I had a glass of ice with me to pour it in, but I couldn't open the can...not that I physically couldn't, but something was stopping me from even picking it up. I began to pray, "God, my head is killing me, and I know it's because I stopped drinking sodas. Please take this headache away, I know it's just the Devil attacking me trying to get me to give in on my promise to you. Right now I claim your comfort and relief from this pain. God, give me the strength to withstand this attack and to keep my promise to you."
And then I had to pull over on the side of the road.
That was it!!! I get it!!! It really didn't matter what I chose to fast. Whether it was something big or small. The point was that I made a promise to God to do something for Him, and to spend time with Him. I chose to give up something that I love......for my God. God just wants me to come to Him to get the strength to do (or not do) whatever it is that I chose (big or small). He just wants me to come to Him for His strength to resist when Satan decides to attack. He just wants me to spend time with Him.
And let's face it, Satan will not attack you if you are not on the right path. If you are on the wrong path why should he bother... It's when you find your way, and find the path that leads to a closer and deeper relationship with God that Satan stands up and takes notice, and decides it's time to do something about it.
Well I say, "get thee behind me, Satan," and I say, "In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to leave me alone", and I say "My God is able to carry me through this time of suffering." And I'll come out the other side stronger, and more in touch with my God and His will for me...because I chose to give up sodas for a month.
You see, fasting sodas may have seemed like a little thing to me at first, but now I know, my small sacrifice is big in my God's eyes because I'm doing it for the right reasons and I'm doing it for Him!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Short Prayers
You know, I've struggled with my prayer life, and with prayer in general. I've always wanted to be like the pastors and other men of God that I've seen in church who can pray the doors down for long minutes and hours. I've always been fascinated with the focus they have achieved that allows them to concentrate on God for extended periods like that. To me it represented a "closer" relationship with God that I have been striving to obtain.
I'm studying for my ministerial credentials and the class I'm taking right now is on the local church in evangelism. The subject of prayer came up and a Bible verse in the text struck me so I looked it up. It was Matthew 6:6 "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Well, that may not seem to relate to what I was talking about up above, but I didn't stop there, I read the next couple of verses too: Matthew 6:7-8 says, "When you pray, don't babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don't be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!"
Ok, so...I'm not saying that the pastors and other men of God I mentioned above are doing this. I'm just saying that this verse has struck me because I struggle alot with praying, and I hate repeating myself over and over. So, my prayers are usually short. In the past, I have felt that I am somehow cheating the person I am praying with/for because I'm through praying in just a couple minutes - if that. This verse cheers me up though because it's telling me that I don't have to pray and pray and pray and pray, on and on and on and on. I can tell God what I want or need and let it go at that - short and sweet - and He still hears and answers me.
I'm studying for my ministerial credentials and the class I'm taking right now is on the local church in evangelism. The subject of prayer came up and a Bible verse in the text struck me so I looked it up. It was Matthew 6:6 "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Well, that may not seem to relate to what I was talking about up above, but I didn't stop there, I read the next couple of verses too: Matthew 6:7-8 says, "When you pray, don't babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don't be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!"
Ok, so...I'm not saying that the pastors and other men of God I mentioned above are doing this. I'm just saying that this verse has struck me because I struggle alot with praying, and I hate repeating myself over and over. So, my prayers are usually short. In the past, I have felt that I am somehow cheating the person I am praying with/for because I'm through praying in just a couple minutes - if that. This verse cheers me up though because it's telling me that I don't have to pray and pray and pray and pray, on and on and on and on. I can tell God what I want or need and let it go at that - short and sweet - and He still hears and answers me.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
God Can Handle the Details
So, again, God says to me - "I'll handle the details." If you look back to my last post, toward the end I said,"he is the one who will lead me, guide me, and grow me to where he wants me to be in Him. If only I will allow it. I am still scared, but God is faithful even when I don’t completely trust Him or myself. He will bring us to where we need to be. He will provide the tools, skills, and talents necessary to complete the work He has for us - if we are willing to allow it and trust in Him."
This afternoon (3 days later), I pulled up my daily devotional that I am so fond of now only to read todays prayer - and I'm going to put the whole thing in here because this is just God confirming things to me over and over and over again.
Today's prayer was "Dear Father in Heaven, I know that You have given me special gifts, talents, and abilities to use in Your service. Please stir up those gifts, talents, and abilities within me. Help me to see how and what I am to do for You. Work through me, through the power of Your Holy Spirit, to accomplish Your purpose and to draw people to Yourself. I know that all that is done through me is not of my own power, but of Your power, God. May You be glorified. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."
Is it me or is God reading my mind (or blog) again.
This afternoon (3 days later), I pulled up my daily devotional that I am so fond of now only to read todays prayer - and I'm going to put the whole thing in here because this is just God confirming things to me over and over and over again.
Today's prayer was "Dear Father in Heaven, I know that You have given me special gifts, talents, and abilities to use in Your service. Please stir up those gifts, talents, and abilities within me. Help me to see how and what I am to do for You. Work through me, through the power of Your Holy Spirit, to accomplish Your purpose and to draw people to Yourself. I know that all that is done through me is not of my own power, but of Your power, God. May You be glorified. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."
Is it me or is God reading my mind (or blog) again.
Monday, June 2, 2008
I Want To Be An Oak Tree
I get a lot of insight from the Daily Devotional that I receive every morning (it’s called Prime Time with God, and it is based on the TGIF – Today God Is First devotional by Os Hillman. They come with a daily prayer as well as a daily devotional). I never thought of myself as one who would “get insight” into anything. My wife, on the other hand is amazing in how she pulls deep thoughts and truths out of what I might see as the smallest things.
Anyway, since I started mysteriously receiving these devotionals (I did not sign up for them – they just started coming) I have been able to see how almost each and every one can apply to my life in one or more ways. Most of the time they are speaking to a situation, or problem, or prayer request that is current in my life.
Yesterday, 6-1-08, I read through the prayer and devotional. Both could be applied to my life right in that particular moment. God is so good. The prayer talked about an old children’s song “I am a promise, I am a possibility…” I have been struggling with God’s call on my life into full time ministry. I am by nature – NOT a “social” person. I actually don’t mind going to a party and holding up the wall. I’m most definitely not a conversationalist – I struggle to carry on the most menial conversation (not with my friends, but with acquaintances, strangers, people I’m not around a lot). I know that in ministry I will have to be good at these things – and I’m NOT. But this short daily prayer, as it talked about that little kids’ song, said God, “In Jesus, I am a great big bundle of potentiality. I pray that you would fill me with your wisdom and guide me in your will. I pray that I will be obedient to you and keep my focus on you. I ask this so that I will reach the potential you have planned for me.”
You know what? I do pray that – but I am scared – and then God reminds me of Moses, who pretty much said the same thing. God, are you nuts? I’m shy…I’m insecure, I can’t talk in front of people, I can’t be a leader. But I do trust God; I know that He can give me the ability that I need at any given moment. But I’m still scared. My prayer is that God will give me the strength for the task at hand and that he will calm my fears.
The devotional of the day was called “Oaks of Righteousness.” It talked about a man who was in the worst time of his life, who felt betrayed by God. He was so angry that he stormed out of his house and yelled at God. He even told God that he hated him. Can you imagine? Yelling at the creator of the universe? I can. I have been there. It was a few years ago now, but I was there. This man sat down on an old broken and fallen oak tree. He sat there for hours weeping and wondering why God would abandon him and had allowed this to happen to him – someone who had been faithful. I’ve been there – right there!! As this man got up to leave he saw that the fallen tree was pointed toward the base of yet another oak tree – a strong tree, a tall tree, with wide spreading branches. As I read the next few lines in the devotional I cried. I heard words very similar to the ones he heard in my spirit when I was struggling a few years ago. Today, like this broken oak tree, you are a broken man. But this brokenness was needed in order for you to become like the large, strong oak tree that stands before you.
Here’s the point. God spoke to me years ago, but I had forgotten. He used this devotional today to remind me that he is the one who will lead me, guide me, and grow me to where he wants me to be in Him. If only I will allow it. I am still scared, but God is faithful even when I don’t completely trust Him or myself. And that faithfulness on the part of my God helps build and complete my trust in Him. God didn’t hate me when I shared my true feelings with Him, and he won’t hate you either. He is willing to listen to us, and we must be willing to listen to Him after we are through yelling at Him. He will bring us to where we need to be. He will provide the tools, skills, and talents necessary to complete the work He has for us - if we are willing to allow it and trust in Him.
It’s hard – I still struggle with it and fight against it from time to time (translated A LOT) – but we must allow God to build us up into the strong man or woman of God that He desires us to be.
Anyway, since I started mysteriously receiving these devotionals (I did not sign up for them – they just started coming) I have been able to see how almost each and every one can apply to my life in one or more ways. Most of the time they are speaking to a situation, or problem, or prayer request that is current in my life.
Yesterday, 6-1-08, I read through the prayer and devotional. Both could be applied to my life right in that particular moment. God is so good. The prayer talked about an old children’s song “I am a promise, I am a possibility…” I have been struggling with God’s call on my life into full time ministry. I am by nature – NOT a “social” person. I actually don’t mind going to a party and holding up the wall. I’m most definitely not a conversationalist – I struggle to carry on the most menial conversation (not with my friends, but with acquaintances, strangers, people I’m not around a lot). I know that in ministry I will have to be good at these things – and I’m NOT. But this short daily prayer, as it talked about that little kids’ song, said God, “In Jesus, I am a great big bundle of potentiality. I pray that you would fill me with your wisdom and guide me in your will. I pray that I will be obedient to you and keep my focus on you. I ask this so that I will reach the potential you have planned for me.”
You know what? I do pray that – but I am scared – and then God reminds me of Moses, who pretty much said the same thing. God, are you nuts? I’m shy…I’m insecure, I can’t talk in front of people, I can’t be a leader. But I do trust God; I know that He can give me the ability that I need at any given moment. But I’m still scared. My prayer is that God will give me the strength for the task at hand and that he will calm my fears.
The devotional of the day was called “Oaks of Righteousness.” It talked about a man who was in the worst time of his life, who felt betrayed by God. He was so angry that he stormed out of his house and yelled at God. He even told God that he hated him. Can you imagine? Yelling at the creator of the universe? I can. I have been there. It was a few years ago now, but I was there. This man sat down on an old broken and fallen oak tree. He sat there for hours weeping and wondering why God would abandon him and had allowed this to happen to him – someone who had been faithful. I’ve been there – right there!! As this man got up to leave he saw that the fallen tree was pointed toward the base of yet another oak tree – a strong tree, a tall tree, with wide spreading branches. As I read the next few lines in the devotional I cried. I heard words very similar to the ones he heard in my spirit when I was struggling a few years ago. Today, like this broken oak tree, you are a broken man. But this brokenness was needed in order for you to become like the large, strong oak tree that stands before you.
Here’s the point. God spoke to me years ago, but I had forgotten. He used this devotional today to remind me that he is the one who will lead me, guide me, and grow me to where he wants me to be in Him. If only I will allow it. I am still scared, but God is faithful even when I don’t completely trust Him or myself. And that faithfulness on the part of my God helps build and complete my trust in Him. God didn’t hate me when I shared my true feelings with Him, and he won’t hate you either. He is willing to listen to us, and we must be willing to listen to Him after we are through yelling at Him. He will bring us to where we need to be. He will provide the tools, skills, and talents necessary to complete the work He has for us - if we are willing to allow it and trust in Him.
It’s hard – I still struggle with it and fight against it from time to time (translated A LOT) – but we must allow God to build us up into the strong man or woman of God that He desires us to be.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
I Miss My Time With You
The following is a post that I put on my MySpace page back on April 22, 2008. It still applies, and maybe it will also help someone else...
You know, it's kind of funny that the prayer for today in my devotional is the Lord's Prayer. About 2 weeks ago, I was thinking about something – of course I don't remember what it was now because I didn't write it down – and I tried to remember and say the Lord's Prayer. I couldn't do it. I remembered a phrase or two, and a couple of key words, but I couldn't do it. I remember thinking that if someone held a gun to my head and told me that if I said the Lord's Prayer they would let me live – I wouldn't be here.
Now I remember what I was thinking about when this came up. I had just heard someone quoting scripture, and was so impressed – I wanted to be like that – I want to be able to just know the Word and be able to recall it without having to search in a Bible for it. I realized that although I had memorized a ton of scripture when I was a kid – I had not practiced it or even put forth any effort to try to re-learn it or learn more. As someone who has been a Christian a long time, I know that it is important to "hide God's Word in my heart," but I haven't done it. Does that make me a bad Christian? Or does that make me like most Christians?
I think it makes me a hypocrite…
I've tried to teach my kids to remember their Bible verses. I've told people in my Sunday school classes that it's important to read their Bible every day, and to memorize God's Word so that they can recall it when they have a need (theirs or someone else's). But I'm not doing it myself. I tell myself that I'm too busy; too busy helping in youth, too busy trying to teach the marriage class, too busy trying to counsel others toward God's will, too busy studying and taking classes so that I can become a credentialed preacher of the gospel. I tell myself that I'll get up early tomorrow and do it, that God will understand because I have to work so much. But I never do get up early tomorrow morning. Sure God understands, but He also gently reminds me just like the old song by Larnelle Harris, "I Miss My Time With You," that He is my friend and I need to work on my relationship with Him. One of the lines in that song is "how can you serve me when your Spirit's empty?" Well, I'm there – I'm tapped out – my Spirit is empty. There is so much going on in my life. And I keep wanting God to be there, but I keep pushing Him aside, I keep not allowing Him to fill me – with his Spirit, with His strength, with His mercy, with His compassion, with His LOVE.
Here, now, and today I'm taking a stand and saying "No more will I miss my time with you, God. You are too important to me for me to walk past you every day and not stop to talk and learn at your feet. You are my best friend and I have treated you badly. Please forgive me and allow me to come back to you and try to fix my relationship with you. I WILL spend time with you every day. I WILL read your Word every day. I WILL hide your Word in my heart every day."
As I write this, tears rolling down my face, I realize that I truly mean it this time – I am spiritually tapped out – just plain empty. I have nothing left. And I realize that all of the reasons that I tell God that I'm too busy to spend time with Him – are the EXACT reasons that I NEED to spend time with Him. How can I do the work God has called me to do if I don't spend time hearing from God?
For the youth who read this – I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I have told you to do something that I myself have not done. For the adults in my Sunday school class who read this – I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I have not lived out as an example the life that I have told you is so important. Please forgive me, and know that I am beginning to live out the life that I know I should, and that I have been teaching you to do as well.
And I also realize that there may be others out there who are having the same difficulties that I am having. I've been teaching it for years – but I am just now "hearing" it myself. Don't let life – or even a life spent serving God – keep you from truly knowing God. Spend that time with Him. Make that sacrifice of time. I can assure you that it will be worth it – it already has for me in the short time I have been doing it.
You know, it's kind of funny that the prayer for today in my devotional is the Lord's Prayer. About 2 weeks ago, I was thinking about something – of course I don't remember what it was now because I didn't write it down – and I tried to remember and say the Lord's Prayer. I couldn't do it. I remembered a phrase or two, and a couple of key words, but I couldn't do it. I remember thinking that if someone held a gun to my head and told me that if I said the Lord's Prayer they would let me live – I wouldn't be here.
Now I remember what I was thinking about when this came up. I had just heard someone quoting scripture, and was so impressed – I wanted to be like that – I want to be able to just know the Word and be able to recall it without having to search in a Bible for it. I realized that although I had memorized a ton of scripture when I was a kid – I had not practiced it or even put forth any effort to try to re-learn it or learn more. As someone who has been a Christian a long time, I know that it is important to "hide God's Word in my heart," but I haven't done it. Does that make me a bad Christian? Or does that make me like most Christians?
I think it makes me a hypocrite…
I've tried to teach my kids to remember their Bible verses. I've told people in my Sunday school classes that it's important to read their Bible every day, and to memorize God's Word so that they can recall it when they have a need (theirs or someone else's). But I'm not doing it myself. I tell myself that I'm too busy; too busy helping in youth, too busy trying to teach the marriage class, too busy trying to counsel others toward God's will, too busy studying and taking classes so that I can become a credentialed preacher of the gospel. I tell myself that I'll get up early tomorrow and do it, that God will understand because I have to work so much. But I never do get up early tomorrow morning. Sure God understands, but He also gently reminds me just like the old song by Larnelle Harris, "I Miss My Time With You," that He is my friend and I need to work on my relationship with Him. One of the lines in that song is "how can you serve me when your Spirit's empty?" Well, I'm there – I'm tapped out – my Spirit is empty. There is so much going on in my life. And I keep wanting God to be there, but I keep pushing Him aside, I keep not allowing Him to fill me – with his Spirit, with His strength, with His mercy, with His compassion, with His LOVE.
Here, now, and today I'm taking a stand and saying "No more will I miss my time with you, God. You are too important to me for me to walk past you every day and not stop to talk and learn at your feet. You are my best friend and I have treated you badly. Please forgive me and allow me to come back to you and try to fix my relationship with you. I WILL spend time with you every day. I WILL read your Word every day. I WILL hide your Word in my heart every day."
As I write this, tears rolling down my face, I realize that I truly mean it this time – I am spiritually tapped out – just plain empty. I have nothing left. And I realize that all of the reasons that I tell God that I'm too busy to spend time with Him – are the EXACT reasons that I NEED to spend time with Him. How can I do the work God has called me to do if I don't spend time hearing from God?
For the youth who read this – I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I have told you to do something that I myself have not done. For the adults in my Sunday school class who read this – I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I have not lived out as an example the life that I have told you is so important. Please forgive me, and know that I am beginning to live out the life that I know I should, and that I have been teaching you to do as well.
And I also realize that there may be others out there who are having the same difficulties that I am having. I've been teaching it for years – but I am just now "hearing" it myself. Don't let life – or even a life spent serving God – keep you from truly knowing God. Spend that time with Him. Make that sacrifice of time. I can assure you that it will be worth it – it already has for me in the short time I have been doing it.
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